The deja view from my desk

"He did not know about the fish that exist in trenches, living their lives & dying their deaths without ever seeing the sun. He did not know that there are both fish & men whose bete noire (literately translated as dark beast, it means potential to cause harm or fear, thank you Wikipedia) is not pressure but the lack of it." I had never read this before tonight but as soon as I read it I had a strong sense of deja vu. Almost to the point that in midsentence I knew what it was going to say. Instead of seeing the words I saw an myself sitting at my desk reading my book.

Sounds crazy, no?

Imagine how I feel.

I like this quote. Its from Stephen King's novella Langoliers.

Part of it is referring to the fish at the very bottom of the ocean. They live in complete blackness, void of all light. Some produce their own light, while others rely on the sense of feel to function. They live in pressures that would kill a human if we were ever exposed to them. But if these creatures were ever brought up to the surface they would explode. Most of that information came from the book. The rest I picked up from a tv series called Planet Earth. I saw it about a week ago but it was about the same subject.

The show also talked about these little colonies that spring up on the earth's surface thousands of miles below sea level. The colonies form around geysers. They're openings on the surface of the earth where pressure is released at extremely hot temperatures. Life starts springing up around these geysers because of the bacteria the grows from them. There are literally hundreds of different species, some that have never been discovered before, that live around these geysers. There are also countless numbers of these geysers on the bottom of the ocean & the colonies are all different i.e. different species.

There is no telling how long these geysers will be going off. Once the geyser stops, so does the life surrounding it. They are all these little ticking time bomb universes just waiting to go off. Some of these species may become extinct before we can even discover them. Which is a pretty selfish statement seeing as how they are the ones dying.

So what does all of this have to do with anything? Why am I blogging about it?

I don't know.

One thought just kinda led to the other I guess. I'm just trying to brainstorm in an attempt to see if I can piece together why I had this feeling of deja vu. I don't think deja vu is coincidental. I think it is put in us for some kind of reason & I feel some kind of responsibility to at least think it through. Maybe I'm just crazy or maybe I've seen to many sci-fi flicks, but I want to believe that there is some kind of purpose behind it. And I want to have it all figure out before my own little time bomb universe goes kabluey. Ha haa.


I spoke to my co-worker . He's a 50-ish year old black man and newly appointed (although he doesn't know it) best work buddy. He seemed a little perplexed when I asked and then he said that not 30 minutes before I had my feeling of deja vu that he had the same thing happen to him. He was reading a book right behind me at his desk as well. I didn't ask him what he read when he had his feeling. That probably would have been useful information.

Anyway he asked "Do you believe in deja vu?" and I said "Sure." So he says "Do you believe in deja vu?" and I said "Yeah, I just said that." Then he said "Do you believe in deja vu?" and I told him that were not best work buddies anymore.

He didn't get it.



Time
Is never time at all
You can never ever leave
Without leaving a piece of youth
And our lives are forever changed
We will never be the same
The more you change, the less you feel

Believe

Believe in me

Believe

That life can change
That you're not stuck in vain
We're not the same, we're different
Tonight

My second blog

I accidentally hit enter on my first blog and it was posted before I could actually write anything. I'm glad it's over. It feels like an incredible burden was lifted off my shoulders. Now I can really get down to the nitty gritty.

I don't know why I wanted to start blogging now...

A few days ago I had this strong urge to express myself in a way I never have before. I needed an outlet. Some way to vent all of the crap that gets jammed up inside my head. I thought "I'll start a blog." So what did I do? Went straight home, got on my computer, checked my email and went to bed.

A few days later, my girlfriend said she was going to start blogging. Again. She's a recovering addict (from blogging not bad stuff.) So I decided that that was a good enough sign for me. I created my own blog as well.

Here are a list of problems that have arisen since the creation of my blog: television, writer's block, the only person who is going to read this is my girlfriend, television, broken water pipes, work, procrastination, sporadic apathy and accidentally hitting Enter instead of Tab (possible Freudian slip.)

But I shall overcome this obstakles. I forgot to add that I'm a bad speller and that I have a bad memory to the list above.

Anyway, hopefully this will do somebody some good.




Song playing in my head: Tom Traubert's Blues (Four Sheets To The Wind In Copenhagen)
"...it's a battered old suitcase to a hotel someplace
And a wound that will never heal.
No prima donna, the perfume is on
An old shirt that is stained with blood and whiskey
And goodnight to the street sweepers,
The night watchman flame keepers,
And goodnight, Matilda, too."


Editor's note: I hate using "that that" when writing and hate to read it even more. You just feel awkward and dirty afterwards. Sorry. It will probably never happen again.

My first blog